By Madison O’Connell

“Maeve, I’m not asking you to change who you are, just act like you care a little more.”

“Oh, so you want me to pretend to be someone I’m not?”

“That’s not what I’m trying to say.”

“Well that’s what it sounds like.”

“It’s just…I don’t know. You’re so complacent about this whole situation,” Levi sighed, dragging his feet as Maeve walked ahead of him, angrily glancing behind her to strike him with a menacing look. Her swollen feet slapped the pavement, purposely stomping down on unsuspecting dandelions whenever one crossed her path on the side of the road.

“I just need you to be there with me,” Maeve said, anxiously picking at her magenta painted fingernails.

“I want to…but who are you to judge what’s important and what isn’t?”

“You’re overreacting.”

With a look of despair, Levi turned away, as if it might be the last time they should argue, when he knew the disagreement would inevitably resurface. The couple continued down the narrow road heading towards the underpass that connected to a flight of concrete stairs at the end of the tunnel.

“I just wish you would address what’s going on inside of you, instead of ignoring it. It only makes you frustrated.”

“I know what I’m doing,” she said, slightly turning her head to eye him suspiciously. “It’s not your problem anyway.”

He paused, reaching out to stop her.

“Maeve, you may shut everyone else out, but please don’t act that way towards me.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, staring at the tattered shoelaces on her dirty sneakers. “And why do we have to go through the underpass? It smells terrible and there’s trash everywhere.”

Levi brushed his shaggy brown hair out of his eyes, nervously staring down the hollow entrance.

“It’s the fastest way to school, and besides, it’s not trash. It’s just another problem you don’t want to deal with, but anything can be saved.”

“Saved?”

“Did I say saved? I meant solved.”

“It’s nothing but old dirty diapers and furniture stained with piss and slimy vomit,” she replied, holding her breath as they entered the tunnel. “And it can’t be saved.”

The open mouth of the underpass swallowed them, absorbing the young college students into a darkened concrete tunnel, void of all light, except for a tiny single bulb hanging down from the middle of the ceiling. They walked on a few paces, their stomping feet echoing off the pavement before Levi stopped. His eyes were fixated on ground under the hanging bulb, lightly swaying in the passing wind.

“Why did you stop?”

“Look.”

Adding to the discarded remains of an abandoned carcass, a feeding bottle lay nestled in between its decaying frame. The glass vessel rattled within the fractured rib cage, smashing against the fleshy bones. Shaking inside the frame, the bottle’s violent strikes began to crack the bones. With a faint cry, the bottle burst, exploding from the splintered crib. Blood burst from inside the feeding bottle, tainting the pavement with an obtrusive smell. Crimson droplets dribbled from the discarded pieces, forming a cracked smile.

Heart palpitating, Levi watched in stunned silence as the murky blood trickled down the indents in the pavement, forming a somber puddle around his feet.

“Did you see that?” Levi whispered, unable to move.

Maeve crossed her arms tightly around her small, shaking frame. Tattered armchairs and couches full of moth-eaten holes and covered by dark yellow puddles of urine tilted in her direction. Surrounding the walls of the underpass, a toppling pile of dirty diapers, stained with blackened excrement, encircled her. Moving her face away from the intensifying smell of rotting feces, she covered her nose, gagging from the pungent odor. He eyes began to water, burning as she looked back to see oozing vomit slowly protruding from the holes in the mangled furniture. Moving her sleeve over her mouth, gagging under the increasing stench, a diaper from the top of the mound rolled down, settling at the bottom of her feet. Delicately the frayed bundled opened, revealing a miniature pink bow, drenched in sticky black blood.

“See what?” she croaked, suppressing a wave of nausea. “The suffocating garbage? There’s barely any room to move in here, I don’t understand why you do this to me! You know I hate coming here, but you insist on going this way every time.”

Levi remained frozen, incapable of replying.

“I know you’re mad Levi, but I’m hurt too.” She turned away from him, her silky black hair swaying with her head. “We never planned for this…and instead of supporting me, you’ve turned your back on me.”

“How can you say that Maeve?” Levi said, turning to face her.

A slender, downcast man hurried past them and ascended the stairs without looking up, hands deep in the crevasses of his inner pockets.

“You need to let this go Levi.”

“And you don’t care at all?”

“Of course I care…but I just want to get this over with. Please come to the clinic with me,” she said. “I’m scared.”

Levi glanced at the abandoned mess of shattered glass and sticky remains, unable to look away as it stared back at him, a glint of light reflecting off of its pleading gaze.

“Is that how you feel about me too?” he asked vacantly without looking up. “A mess you don’t have time to clean up.”

“You’re being dramatic.” She pressed forward, hastily wiping the fallen tears from her face. Carefully stepping over the soiled diaper, a fading glint of pink caught her eye before being swallowed by the black slime.

“I don’t want to be late for class…can we deal with this later?”

Levi remained motionless, staring at the broken fragments.

Maeve paused at the top of the stairs, anxiously glancing at Levi before moving on without him.

“I think you deserve better,” he said, eyes transfixed on the discarded remains drenched in blood.

Turning away from the scraps and hurriedly making his way up the stairs, Levi quickened his steps as he rushed towards his Honors Thesis Writing class.

* * *

As the day came to an end, the setting sun created a warm glow that wrapped Levi in a mid-spring heat. He slowly made his way back to the narrow steps, contemplating his dilemma. Maeve would be waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs.

“Levi!” a voice shouted, interrupting his thoughts.

“Are you walking back to the dorms?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too,” Charlie smiled. “Are we not going back the normal way? Please don’t tell me that we’re taking the underpass. I hate that place, the old lady always grabs my clothes and begs me for money.”

“What old lady?”

“The blind one.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Levi shrugged.

“You’ve never seen her? She’s a nightmare,” he shuttered. “I’ll walk with you to the opening but I’m not going back to that place.”

Walking through the college campus they reached the stone steps, leading down a hill covered with yellowed grass and dandelions.

“You can either avoid it or face it.”

“The underpass?”

“The old lady.”

Charlie stopped midway, lingering on top of a stone step. “What would I do with a disabled old woman who constantly needs to be cared for? I have to think about what’s best for myself.”

“Do you always put yourself first?”

“Well…yeah,” he shrugged. “We all do. Everything we perceive is from a self-centered point of view. Nobody can be completely selfless.”

“I’m not sure if I agree with you…entirely.”

“Well,” Charlie started, walking behind his friend down the hill. “What’s the most selfless thing you’ve ever done?”

Levi sighed, slowing his pace until he stopped. “I tried to save a little girl’s life.”

“Tried?”

They continued forward, the underpass now visible.

“Are you sure you don’t want to just go around it? There’s another way.”

“No, Maeve’s waiting for me in the underpass. I can’t just leave her all alone.”

Reaching the bottom of the hill, Levi started down the daunting stairs, his heart racing as he faced a confrontation he had been rehearsing in his head.

“It’s gone.”

“What? Maeve?”

The broken feeding bottle and the crooked smile of curdled blood had vanished. The lone, single bulb hung above the empty tunnel, reflecting it’s meager light against the bare concrete walls.

“Yes,” Levi answered, pausing as he stared at the vacant space. “She’s gone too.”